Three moments of weirdness

Here is a fun one I came across today. All families are WEIRD. Can we agree on that? Here are three questions that can highlight your family's weirdness. Be totally honest. It's only three questions, YOU CAN DO IT. No phoney mommy-blogger answers. Leave yours in a comment below.

1. What names, other than actual birth certificate names, do you call each other?
AS IF the first question already exposes deep, deep weirdness in my family. How dare you! OK, the truth is.. we call each other some pretty odd things. In fact, since we met Calvin has generated probably around 5,000 nicknames for me. EVERY text he sends is a different name. "Hey spinach-stew, what time are you done work?" "Good morning Alexander P Cutie, how are you?" "My lovely little Canada goose, give me a call on your break." I'm serious! (PS The kids just call me mom or mama, so that's a breath of fresh air.)
As far as Calvin, I call him Cal or Calvie pretty much all of the time. Nothing too strange. Sometimes senor.
And lastly... well, if you secretly listened in to daily life in our home, you would think our kids were named Harvey and Cooper. That's what we call them the most. Oliver's nickname started as Harvey I think because of Harvey Dent (like Two-Face in the Batman series). He answers to it. Dakota we started calling Koko at birth, which evolved into many things like Coke-a-lina, Kohpers, Keenie, Kipaloopa, Kimmy, Kodalina, Koralina, Koda-Coopers, and then lately just Cooper. Like, all the time Cooper. She knows it's her if it starts with a K-sound, which is interesting because her real name starts with D.   So yes, Calvin... Soy-duck... Harvey Dent.. and Cooper. :) Welcome to our weirdness.

2. Describe your typical bed time routine?
Oh this is easy... as of LATE, this is what happens.
7:45pm: I realize it's almost 8. I remind Calvin to start cleaning up the kitchen from our dinner EXPLOSION while I take the kids up. Maybe I bathe them, maybe I don't. Dakota gets in pjs. Maybe Oliver does, maybe he doesn't. I give Dakota her toothbrush to chomp on while Oliver and I actually brush our own teeth. We use different toothpaste. We all spit and wash our brushes off. We all kiss Dakota. We close the binds on her window. She goes in her crib. She cries for 0-2 minutes, and then is asleep for 12 hours.
8:00-10:00pm: Calvin and I watch some tv or hang out and talk. Most of the time he'll have a snack but I'll decline because I already brushed my teeth. Oliver will sit on another couch and play a Transformers app game on my phone, or watch Netflix (whatever his flavour of the week is: Pet Shop, Go Diego, School Bus, whatever). At some point he will fall asleep and we'll carry him up. The other option is we will try to get him to fall asleep in his bed and it will end in total disaster. When we carry him up we'll change his day pants into pj pants but usually keep his t-shirt on, cause why not? Throw everything in the laundry bin. Then, I'll set my alarm for the morning. Make sure I have a lunch in the fridge (usually leftovers), set my clothes out for the next day (cause I don't want to turn our closet light on at 6am and wake Cal up), take out my contacts, and crash in bed still with my clothes and make up from the day on. Sometimes if I can't fall asleep I'll read Reddit for 10 minutes. Cal will come up to bed maybe an hour later.


3. If you had to relate each family member to a celebrity who would they be?
Calvin: Reese Witherspoon. Haha. Take away the fact that she is a woman, but there are so many similarities. They are both like down-south, old-fashioned, family values type people. Love their children deeply. Good at their work. Sweet and easy to talk to. Especially warm with their friends. And just cute and adorable. He is definitely a Reese.
Oliver: Hm, this guy ranges from about Benedict Cumberbatch-level OCD-ish/genius tendencies, to a like Tom Hardy macho-man, quiet while I fix this monster truck and then go back to killing bad guys type dude. I cannot choose. He is everyone.
Dakota: I would say... Clifford the big red dog? Does that count?


EDIT: I change my answer. Oliver is Anakin Skywalker + Kevin McAllister.