Five Things You'll Find Out as a New Mom

I guess I shouldn't say "new mom" -- I'm an old mom with two and a half whole years under my belt. But a "mom of a new baby". With a newborn in your care everything changes and here are some things you may not have known:

1. You will feel excited about 4 consecutive hours of sleep. Not to scare you, if anything - isn't that grand? I can be excited about something so horrible. I literally look at my phone's clock and whisper "freakin' right!"

2. You will google crazy things. Things I should erase my history for. "Bible verses about strength", "YouTube video to put baby to sleep", "is salt water bad for nipples" and "alcohol while breastfeeding" come to mind. I'll spare you the post partem bleeding and diaper related searches. 

3. Your older children will both horrify and amaze you. Oliver has taken to being a big brother like a champ - helping like crazy, wanting to hold and kiss her, and telling everyone he talks to about baby Koko - but he's not without his freaking out, needing mommy, crying for no apparent reason moments too. When he starts throwing things across the room we know it's time for some one on one attention. 

4. You will negotiate, audibly, with a pair of pants. This morning I was literally chanting "come on size four, you can do it". They couldn't, but 6 pulled through and I thanked the jeans out loud. 

5. You will experience the deepest love imaginable. It will shock you, give you chills, take over your brain. And you'll never be able to properly explain it to anyone. Until you meet another new mom - soaked in sour milk, looking beautiful because she found 30 seconds to put on concealer this afternoon (not morning, no not ever) - and you'll just smirk at each other and know. There is nothing like being a new mom.