New Years Refelection 2014/2015

I'm so proud of myself for doing these four years running! 

Here are my former reflections:
2011/2012
2012/2013
2013/2014

What did you create?

• A Dakota Forrest Harrison
• I began writing 2 stories: one unnamed one that Calvin made up in a dream, and one called To find an island, which is social media based
• Feeding the Wolfe: a cookbook for kids, just need the illustrations and I can go to print/ e-book publishing
• A capsule wardrobe
• 52 weekly menu plans & grocery lists

What challenges did you face with courage and strength?

• Pumping breast milk for Dakota, I've never been a pumper: it's hard!
• Losing Papa Ed
• Feeding 200 people at our church's summer BBQ (pulled pork tacos), catering the Christmas Eve Service (cookies, snacks & an espresso bar)

What promises did you keep? 

• Wear a seatbelt, proper carseat usage
• Show up to work
• Natural birth
• The rest I can't say ;)

What brave choices did you make?

• Returning to work after 10 months of maternity leave
• I drove all the way to the cottage by myself 
• A number of encounters with patients at our mental health care building
• Taking Oliver to emerg because of his face injury
• Breastfeeding despite the biting that comes along with teething

What are you proud of?

•  We bought a home, it looks incredible
• I put up all of the blinds except 1 window
• I built a bathroom cabinet and a kitchen pantry
• How wonderful my family is
• My younger sister getting a great job and her own apartment

What was disappointing?

• Not being chosen for an internal posting I hoped for
• Realizing I'm a better mother than I am a wife, must try harder

What was scary?

• Oliver's last year as a non-school age child
• Sleeping alone when Calvin was away at the studio
• Cutting all my hair off, but not that scary

What was hard?

• Waking up at 5am, eating breakfast at 5:15am, driving at 5:30am
• Showering, when you have two kids who need attention
• Sleeping, in general
• Moving

What can you forgive yourself for?

• Everything
• I forgive myself for the amount of chocolate I've eaten
• I forgive myself for not getting the kids outside to play when it's freezing cold
• I forgive myself for having terrible fashion sense

The next step is to say out loud, “I declare 2014 complete!”

How do you feel?

I'll be honest, I didn't do it.

The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2014?

Mine last year was: “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”

My intention this year is to find a routine. That I can see a week and know our rhythm. To reduce the chaos. For my children to feel secure in where they'll be and who will care for them every day of the week. To always pack my lunches, pull out my clothes and have my bags ready for the day ahead. To snuggle my two treasures constantly, and be amazed by them, and listen every time they're talking, and never chose a screen over them. To write them emails to read in the future, and take pictures of everything. To find out who they are, what they need, what drives them and what exhausts them, and how I can make them better, every day. To invest in them and model what a good person is like, so that they can say that I was a positive example in their lives. And to ship them off to bed at a reasonable hour so that I can spend one-on-one time with the only man I need be spending one-on-one time with. To actively do things to make it known that he is special. To never leave him seeking for attention, compliments or approval. To give credit where credit is due, and then even extra where it's not. To give more than I receive. To over-praise and under-complain. To be a treat and a joy to be around, 99% of the time. And to myself: to get enough sleep, enough water, enough activity, enough greens, enough alone time, to be my very best at almost-all times.

Fueling a child's imagination

If I haven't already said it on here 1000 times, Oliver is obsessed with inventing. Everything he sees is a part of his invention; he is constantly scheming how to connect things. The plumbing and duct work in our home: part of his invention. An extension cord in a store we're shopping at: part of his invention. He plugs usb-cords into everything and doesn't even become disappointed when nothing happens. His inventions define him. He spends hours and hours on end working on them.

Calvin has been fueling Oliver's imagination by teaching him to play Little Big Planet 3. The video game (though yes, a form of "screen time") is amazing for encouraging creativity and "sky's the limit" thinking as opposed to the binary "this action is either right or wrong" of so many other games, not to mention the violence. I would rather Oliver play a game where his actions affect the outcome, than just watch a movie where he is a passive audience.

The other thing we've been up to is exploring electricity. My dad bought Oliver an inventor's kit in California when he was teaching a computer course there. It contains a learning book with projects and instructions, as well as a huge pile of pieces that he can use to create the projects or experiment on his own.

So far he has learned that electricity works in a loop. The loop starts at one end of the battery (which is the source of power) and ends at the other side, and they are called positive and negative, or + and -. The battery shouldn't be connected only to itself or it will overheat (short) so we attach it, using alligator clips, to "loads". Right now his loads are a lightbulb on a base, a red LED, a buzzer and a motor which he connects to other things to make them spin. He also learned that many metal things can be conductors and let the electricity through, but other things are insulators and stop the electricity. We spent some time testing things in the house and he thought it was pretty cool that Daddy's glasses are a conductor -- and his breakfast spoon! The most recently project we did was creating an on-off switch using brad clips and a paper clip. Now he can make an electricity loop (in series, not parallel yet) with a light and buzzer, so when the Toronto Maple Leafs score he can complete the loop (close the circuit) and make it sound and light up.

He is absolutely blowing me away at how much he understands and how easily he can apply the information. The kit is designed for elementary school children but Oliver doesn't even start JK until September (yes: I register him in 2 weeks, oh my heavens.)

We are so happy to be providing ways for him to be creative and explore possibilities. And hey, it's fun for us too.

Eating at work

Short of all the gifted chocolate I devour, I find that I eat pretty healthy at work. For me, a never-cafeteria-purchaser, it’s really simple to pack some great food and then stick to what I have. The alternative is being at home, with a kitchen full of food, and that’s when things can really get unhealthy. At least at work I can’t do a donuts-fried-in-butter experiment!

I work 10 – 12 hour shifts, so it’s longer than average, but here is what I ate in one day:

5:45am: Greek yogurt with maple syrup; to give me fuel for the drive to work and the first couple tasks of the day

6:00-7:30am: Black coffee in a double walled mug to keep it hot

8:00am: An entire avocado and 10 cherry tomatoes with salt; I realize how weird this is, thank you very much

9:30am: A fruit and nut tart from a platter for everyone in the department to share

10:00am-1:00pm: Slowly snacking on roasted almonds and mini cheddar crackers, lots of filtered water

1:00pm: A huge bowl of leftover veggie rice with San-J Gluten-Free Orange Stir-fry sauce; I put this on everything from perogies to scrambled eggs

2:30-5:30pm: Finish off a bag of chili-lime seasoned peanuts, more water

6:45pm: Dinner of Chicken Burgers and sweet potato fries

And I honestly rarely snack after eating dinner, so that’s the end of it.

11 month / 41 month update

I'm starting to get a kick out of calling Oliver a 41 month old boy. Actually it goes well with the fact that yesterday he asked me for na-na milk, ie to nurse. How weird and unexpected. So... Aside from strange requests that I denied, things have been great! I'm actually surprising myself to get this update done since we have been so busy (as has the rest of the world I'm sure). I have been working a lot, like I'm in the midst of a 6/7 day streak and all shifts are about 10-12 hours long. Add in family gatherings and catering/baristaing our church's Christmas Eve service at Fire Rock Golf Club, I need some rest! It doesn't help that Dakota is still teething and still choosing me as her favourite teething toy. We have also had our dear friend Pedro visiting from Brazil. It has been amazing to have him here but if you can believe it: he hasn't seen any snow!

So what's new with the kiddos? Oliver survived the noro-virus. Somehow Dakota escaped getting it, even after visiting her great grandma in a retirement home on outbreak. We decorated our house for the holidays and have spent a lot of time with family. And Cal took the kids shopping a lot!

Oliver loved doing advent every morning. I would read him a story and bible verse and then have chocolate of course. He somewhat understands Santa too. His favourite gift was a trampoline to keep in his room. Santa bought him Legos. He also got a new tablet from my dad to replace the one he accidentally dropped. He also really loved this pretend coffeemaker. And so many other things. Dakota is harder to gauge but the gift she seemed to take the most affinity to was a simple bead and track toy by Melissa and Doug, like you would see in a doctor's office. She also received a new car seat. My mom found a portable booster chair for eating away from home and I am really excited about that.

Here is Dakota on Christmas morning. She was pretty good at opening gifts and being excited about them, considering her age.

Here's Oliver all fancy for a Christmas party, or Christmas photo - I can't remember which!

Here's a new t-shirt our visitor Pedro brought from Brazil. 

THEY ARE ALL MINE!

The most embarassing recipe ever

So recently I was watching the Food Network and noticed that a show I'd seen in the States before, Southern at Heart with Damarias Philips, is now airing here. Which is great because sometimes it seems like the US line up is way better than the Canadian. The host was describing a "pot de creme" recipe using common household ingredients and it sounded awesome. So I memorized it, made it, ate it, and loved it. And I absolutely couldn't wait to share with you! Except... it's the most embarassing recipe ever. It is neither healthy, nor classy, nor culinarily accurate, nor the type of thing you want anyone to know that you made. That being said, it looks and tastes like perfection. So make it! Make it over and over. But never let anyone catch you!

TOTALLY EMBARASSING CHOCOLATE POT DE CREME

1 cup milk
1/4 cup cream
2/3 cup mayonnaise
3 T sugar
1 T vanilla
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp instant coffee
1 cup chocolate chips

In a small saucepan, warm up the first 7 ingredients, whisking til smooth. Keep the mix on medium to medium-low until small "simmering" bubbles appear, then turn off the heat. Whisk in the chocolate chips. When it has cooled just enough to not instantly heat-smash the glasses you want to serve it in, pour each serving into its own glass and let cool for a few hours. Top with whipped cream and berries if desired.

Returning to Work for the Second Time

fgfg

Well, it’s official, for the second time around I am a working mama. I returned to my job at the hospital a couple weeks ago and it’s actually been a smooth transition.

The first time I returned to work after being off for Oliver’s maternity leave I scheduled myself back after 10 months of leave so that Calvin would stay home for our final 2 months of leave. Having him at home with Oliver was such a load off of my mind and was also very convenient to drive to and from work without worrying about a babysitter. I always knew that Ollie was safe at home with his dad and could even keep specific foods ready for them, crafts planned, etc. It made going back so easy. Also, at the time I was only working 4 hour shifts, 5 days a week, so I could nurse him once in the morning before work, then immediately upon getting home, and not miss a nursing session. He was a decent solids eater and did pretty well with the transition of not seeing me 24/7. When Calvin returned to work, when Oliver turned 1, we scheduled “fun with Grandma” days when Calvin and I were both working. We also had a number of amazing women/friends from church help with watching him.

Having two children now it really is a different ball game. Whoever agrees to watch the children is now taking on an energy-filled three year old and a spirited 10 month old: not an easy task. It also ups the expense greatly if day care is considered. This time, Calvin and I have again gone with the 10-month-2-month split for maternity leave, so he is currently home until the end of January when Dakota turns 1. (Well, I’ll let him leave the house sometimes…)

Now I am working 10 – 12 hour shifts, a few days a week, on an inconsistent pattern. It definitely has pros and cons. On one hand, there can be many days in the week that I’m home with the family and we can spend time, get little house tasks done, go on fun road trips, etc. However, 6am to 6pm is a long time for kids to be away from their moms (especially breast fed!) and it’s a long time for me to be away from them too. Calvin will periodically send me emails to reassure me that everyone is doing great and it makes all the difference. I feel confident that they are being well taken care of.

As far as breastfeeding, on days that I work I typically still nurse Dakota once through the night and then I leave the bed at 5am. Around 9:30am and again around 2:30pm I find a spare office with no windows and pump a bottle for her. I store it in my lunch bag in the staff fridge. This becomes her primary bottle for tomorrow (and I try to leave another in the freezer at all times – just in case.) She actually likes her milk room temp or colder so Cal just offers it to her with lunch and if she doesn’t finish it she will have the rest later in the afternoon. We throw milk away on the 3^rd day in the fridge. She also drinks water. As soon as I get home and settled I nurse her again. It’s a good system for us. Dakota is eating at least 3 meals a day, plus snacks: she loves food. She will eat a piece of buttered whole grain toast and a full scrambled egg by herself, and then still polish off whatever chopped fruit I offer to her. At lunch she loves pasta, carrots, cheese and meat. The only thing she spits out is cucumbers. She does quite well with not whining about missing me, and she actually naps better for Calvin than myself.

I see all of the benefits of being a stay at home mom, and with Calvin’s great job I think it could be a possibility for me, but I love my job and I’m a better mom when I’m not a 24/7 mom. The adult interaction, the varying pace, the intellectual (vs physical or emotional) challenge of the job recharges me and gives me more energy to do the mom-job the rest of the time. I love that I still have tons of time with my babies and I know our family will always find a way to make it work