New Years Reflection 2015/2016

I've been trying to fill out a little "resolutions" survey every Dec 31st on this blog. I was shocked to realize this is my fifth year in a row posting a New Years Reflection on this blog... 

Just to keep myself accountable, here are my former reflections:
2011/2012
2012/2013
2013/2014
2014/2015

So let's get into it... in 2015:

What did you create?

• I built a massive heavy duty shelving system for all my Rubbermaid storage totes, I felt like a freaking Hulk when I was done
• A 3 bed garden which gave me so many delicious things
• A therapeutic gardening program for the forensic mental health clients at work, including cooking classes from the harvest
• A daily yoga routine that also creates: a butt (needed one)
• Hundreds of yummy meals
• More organization in a number of places in the house (the pantry, the front closet, my side of the bedroom closet, the kids' toys)

What challenges did you face with courage and strength?

• A close friend's cancer diagnosis
• Losing my regular rotation shift and going back to working part-time
• Deciding our family stops at two children
• The Keg taking the goat cheese appetizer off the menu
• Suicide Squad releasing a trailer SO SO SO long before the movie comes out (omg, I'm dying in anticipation)

What promises did you keep? 

• My usual car related promises: always wear a seat belt, always use a car seat properly, never stop on a railroad track, don't text and drive, don't drink and drive. I'm like scary-good at this stuff - if I drink half a cider beer four hours ago I still make Calvin drive. :)
• To be gentle on my children
• I don't call in sick to work when I'm not sick
• I don't buy dinner when I could make dinner  (same goes for breakfast and lunch)

What brave choices did you make?

• To eat this chicken that kind of looked undercooked
• To attend work functions even though I feel so socially awkward
• To dye my hair light blonde

What are you proud of?

• I've just interviewed for a leadership role at work
• Oliver is learning his letters really well
• Dakota eats super spicy food like a champion, and sushi and seafood, and fine cheese

What was disappointing?

• All the times I forgot my leftovers after they'd been boxed up at a restaurant
• Getting a ticket for forgetting to update my licence sticker
• Turning 28 which is so close to 30
• The night I stayed up for SNL and then it was a re-run
• The Toronto Maple Leafs

What was scary?

• Our car hitting black ice and smashing into a pole last month
• Every time I hear a noise downstairs in the middle of the night & think I'm being Elizabeth Smart-ed
• Donald Trump

What was hard?

• Oliver starting school full-time
• Saying good bye to our very best friends, the Medlands, as they moved to Scotland

What can you forgive yourself for?

• The amount of chocolate I've consumed
• Briefly falling asleep during Star Wars: The Force Awakens (honestly, it was like 30 seconds)

The next step is to say out loud, “I declare 2015 complete!”

How do you feel?

Like a baby sparrow flying through a warm rain, gliding along toward a full harvest moon that illuminates an entire field of sunflowers below, while the rest of the world sleeps in silence.

The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2016?

Let's first take a look at how I did with my 2015 focus...

My intention this year is to find a routine. That I can see a week and know our rhythm. To reduce the chaos. For my children to feel secure in where they'll be and who will care for them every day of the week. To always pack my lunches, pull out my clothes and have my bags ready for the day ahead. 

I've really attempted to do this but the biggest barrier is my work schedule. I made a calendar with magnetic photos of myself, Calvin, my mom, and Calvin's mom so Oliver could always know who was babysitting him the next day. I stopped using it when he started school because he knows he has school every weekday and Dakota is too young to really grasp the calendar. I do pack lunches and lay out my clothes the night before, pretty religiously. As I move toward my goal of having a regular work schedule this will fix itself somewhat.

To snuggle my two treasures constantly, and be amazed by them, and listen every time they're talking, and never chose a screen over them. To write them emails to read in the future, and take pictures of everything. To find out who they are, what they need, what drives them and what exhausts them, and how I can make them better, every day. To invest in them and model what a good person is like, so that they can say that I was a positive example in their lives. 

I think I've chosen a screen way too many times. The phone needs to go away. It's terrible. That said I've done well at the rest: I send them future emails all the time and take photos of the important stuff/ nag family members to forward their photos to me when I can't be at an event. I love listening and trying to understand both of them. I have really nailed Dakota's eating and sleeping pattern needs, Oliver is still a mystery to me. I try to model the character of a good person to them (I make sure to let them see me - donate money, do things for other people, say yes to filling a need, etc.) and I loudly recognize the character of other people (if they get a free cookie at the grocery store I announce - isn't that awfully generous of that baker?) - sadly I was recently asked by Oliver if I'm actually a good person or if I'm secretly a bad one. Too many Anakin Skywalker library books for him.

And to ship them off to bed at a reasonable hour so that I can spend one-on-one time with the only man I need be spending one-on-one time with. To actively do things to make it known that he is special. To never leave him seeking for attention, compliments or approval. 

This is my year's greatest fail. Typically if Calvin and I have evening time together it's spent in front of the tv. Or I'm on my phone. I use up all my 'nice Amy' for everyone else and save all the 'exhausted Amy' for him. I think I've done an absolute ton in my eyes to make him feel special but the bulk of it is in my love-language - so I cook for him constantly, take care of his laundry, the dishes, clean up after him, and then I think I've done a great job when really he doesn't respond to acts of service, he wants touch & praise. I hate praise because it feels fake if it's not authentic. I definitely need to try harder.

To give credit where credit is due, and then even extra where it's not. To give more than I receive. To over-praise and under-complain. To be a treat and a joy to be around, 99% of the time. 

I'd like to say I'm doing well in this area. I would like to do even more of this with the staff at work, including sending cards of gratitude for a job well done.

And to myself: to get enough sleep, enough water, enough activity, enough greens, enough alone time, to be my very best at almost-all times.

I've certainly tried to get my sleep (and have succeeded more often than not), I drink all my water, I eat all my veggies, and I've exercised (in the form of yoga) more this year than any other year. I spend the time I need to alone, and I do try to be better and better every day. Good job, Amy. Now read more books you goof. 

And now, for 2016.

My occupational goal for the coming year is self mastery. On a moral/cognitive/political level I am an eclectic ball of weirdness, and there's nothing wrong with this, however, my many inconsistencies don't work in a leadership role. At work, as I look to bigger and brighter things I need to be able to align with and articulate the vision of the organization in a way that doesn't waiver when others disagree with it. I am eternally hearing people's side of the story and then validating it, rather than helping them understand my side (with empathy of course) and looking for their understanding of where I'm coming from. Maybe it's just because I'm in an 'interview' season but this career goal is pretty pivotal to me.

At home, I'd like to see some of our junkier meal choices (mac n cheese, etc.) find their way out of the frequent rotation. I'd like to continue with my daily yoga and arse-loads of water and commitment to sleep against all odds. I'd like to wage war against sugar which I don't even like much, and it certainly doesn't like me because after consuming it I feel like death.

I'd like to listen, listen, listen when people talk and remember the things they say as though they are as important to me as they are to them. I want to be a "So how did your daughter's math test end up going last week?" type person. I adore those people.. when you think, how did you even remember that I talked about that? I want to be a massive source of positivity in many lives, that time spent with me leaves others believing in better things. This would be helped by complaining less and speaking poorly of people as-close-to-never-as-possible. I'd like to play more music, read more books, spend more time in nature. Snuggle tons of dogs and babies. Put lavender bath salts in a tub of hot water more often.

2016 will see my daughter as a two year old, and my son turning five mid-way. It will be my six year wedding anniversary. At the end, I'll turn 29. I'll have been with my current workplace for three years. And we'll celebrate two years of living in this house. I'll renew my licence plate again, probably break a few wine glasses, cry when the Leafs are mathematically out of the playoffs, and go on a family vacation to somewhere warm. I'll get max two hair cuts, I'll be convinced I have a broken rib at least once, I'll be told by a doctor I need antibiotics but not actually fill the prescription, and I'll stop at a yellow light that I should have driven through upwards of 500 times - these are guarantees.

I hope this year I choose myself when I need rest, nourishment, quiet, excitement, encouragement or creative pursuits, to be my best person; and then choose others the total rest of the time. I want to care for myself so that my cup is full, and then pour, pour, pour into whoever needs it. And maybe I'll update the blog a handful of times too. Love you all.

How We Spent the Holidays

December can be a bit of a whirlwind for young families. Calvin and I have experienced a few Christmases now that we looked back on, once the dust settled, and thought: "That was too crazy, never again." Like the not-enough-sleep year, the spent-12-hours-driving-in-a-day year, and the Oliver-is-overwhelmed-by-people year... we have learned our lesson to not overbook ourselves and to keep driving to a realistic level. Now that Dakota (23 months old!) has reached a significant level of human consciousness, gift opening is at peak awesomeness. Seeing two little ones go nuts over gifts is pretty unbeatable.

So here is how we maximized joy and minimized homicide risk.

Early in December we celebrated with my Dad's side. There is nothing greater than a section of the family committing to celebrate early. Praise the Good Lord. It was a perfect plan because my grandparents were headed back to Brazil in a few days and won't return until late April. We had an amazing meal (steak!) and opened gifts. I situated myself next to my uncle's new dog and became best friends with her instantly (Charlie.. *sigh*)

A week or so later Calvin's mom's side met up at McGuiness Landing for a holiday get-together. Sadly I was working but managed to catch them back at their house for coffee and sweets (and by coffee and sweets I just mean two black coffees).

December 23 we got together with our lead team at church and decorated for the Christmas Eve service. We knew we wouldn't be able to attend the actual party but wanted to contribute to the set up and feel we were a part of it in some way. We provided/arranged for sweet treats to feed ~400 expected people, including cookies, brownies, bark, cinnamon buns and bars. This was stress-free because Oliver and Dakota were free to run around the venue (a golf club) and our pastors' son and daughter are like dream babysitters who I want to hire as live-in nannies/mentors.

December 24 Calvin worked the day and then we took turns distracting the kids while the other wrapped gifts like a madperson (madperson is the gender neutral of madman or madwoman - the more you know). Mid-afternoon we drove to my parents house in South London and were able to spend good quality time with them and my two sisters (one of whom came from Toronto, which is always a treat). By good quality time I do mean rounds of shots ("Do I have to drink this all in one gulp?" - Mom) and record ourselves "singing" Christmas carols around the piano. And by singing I mean managing to get a line or two out before laughing or yelling at each other. In fairness, my mom kept getting her hands on my side of the piano. And everyone kept singing harmony instead of the melody. And the iPad recording us fell down a ton of times. Rage. We had a delicious meal, of which my favourite parts were the chipotle sweet potatoes and the bacon brussels sprouts. For dessert my sisters made a pie (like, just whipped it up casually as though they were 20 year old Martha Stewarts) and then we promptly forgot it had been made so we never ate dessert. We opened gifts (Oliver got a remote controlled helicopter - heaven help me). Then we took off before anyone could get over-tired and cranky (the most likely candidate being me).

December 25 we woke up at the crack of dawn to do Christmas morning with Calvin's family. From 7am to 9am we took turns with his parents and brother and sister-in-law, giving and receiving gifts, as well as hiding all chocolate items from their dog. Then at 9 I raced off to work while they had a big breakfast which I'm told consisted of quiche, turkey bacon, sausage, protein pancakes, scones and more. I managed to steal some protein pancakes and a scone before I got in the car. Cal and the kids spent the day at their house while I made sure the 75 clients in our hospital were fed and happy. I also had my finger slammed in a heavy duty security door - ugh. (Said no swear words - look at me go.) I returned to their house at 6pm for a delicious turkey dinner. Oliver had been shipped off to my sister's car to go attend my mom's family's Christmas get together in Niagara. We got ourselves home and in bed very early, and Dakota let us sleep in until almost 7:30am.

December 26 Calvin took Dakota out for some Boxing Day shopping while I frantically cleaned and tidied the house. I filled garbage bags with old, broken toys and put their new ones out. I dishwasher-ed, I laundry-ed, I bed-made, I kitchen-scrubbed, and then I collapsed in a tub of hot bath water until they came home (and had purchased nothing - which is probably for the best). Oliver was returned to us mid-afternoon and we took off in the car to Goderich to Calvin's dad's family Christmas. Here, Oliver was just about reaching his breaking point so we kept him in check by limiting sweets and threatening to not purchase batteries for his helicopter. Worked like a charm. Dakota was content to eat snap peas and smile at people nervously. I personally loved this gathering because (a) little ones to snuggle and (b) enough smoked salmon to feed me for a week. I planted myself beside the cheese platter with a small child on my lap and was in my happy place.

And now the holidays are over.

Of course we have a friend Christmas party tonight for dinner. And Thursdays is New Years Eve, so the mayhem never ends. But we're happy that we survived a family Christmas without any major hiccups. I hope your holidays were fantastic and would love to hear your family's game plan if you want to post a comment below! Happy Holidays my friends.

Oliver's New Career as a YouTuber

Oliver absolutely loves watching YouTube videos, specifically unboxing/unwrapping videos of toys and snacks. He can search "kinder surprise eggs" and then be occupied for an hour. He knows all the big youtubers, he can recognize videos that he's seen before, or been hoping to see, or that seem to be a rip off of another Youtuber's idea. He's all in.

So when I told him that he could be a Youtuber is was ecstatic. We began with a trial run, in which he did a review of the Nutella pretzel snack. I shared it to Facebook and got a good response so he's been making videos almost every day since.

I've seen so much improvement from him - from his first videos during which there would be long awkward pauses and little to no commentary, to his most current ones where he's truly upping his 'hosting' chops. He runs the audience through exactly what he's doing and likes to throw funny or interesting things in too. He's had his share of bloopers - in one video he starts bawling and in others his little sister tries to sabotage him - but in general he's pretty flawless.

Here are some if you'd like to check them out. Please like, comment, share and subscribe!

His first video ever - Nutella review

A sweet moment with Dakota

The infamous crying one

An early one

The day he was sick but still filmed - such dedication

His first Kinder Surprise Egg video

Another

On the counter, oops

I didn't help with this one at all

And another

I helped

On the floor

Look at that cute jacket

Dakota steals the show again


THANKS FOR WATCHING

Get to Know Me

I've had some good traffic lately on here (you guys bored or something?) so I looked up a "blogger get to know me survey". Thanks Uncle Google. If your new ready My Idea of Happiness, this one's for you! Feel free to leave me your answers in the comments below.

1. What is your middle name?: Joy

2. What was favorite subject at school?: All the subjects! Off the top of my head I loved Chem, Bio, Physics (of course, right? ... right??), Math, English, Spanish, German, Creative Writing, Cello, Food and Nutrition. I can remember disliking French and Phys Ed.

3. What is your favorite drink?: I mean, truthfully my favourite beverage is coffee. Next to that water. I do like tea. I do like specialty juices like kale-pear-ginger or something like that. The best alcoholic drink I ever did have in my long-legged life was at Keg and it was called a Queen B. It was gin, lemon juice, honey and ginger. Baby!
;)

4. What is your favorite song at the moment?: Everything by Justin Beiber is slaying me right now. I will just proudly admit that.

5. What is your favorite food?: Have to give this one to eggs. Like if I have to pick a. food. item. My favourites dishes would be... any kind of fried rice, pad thai, quiche, nachos, fish tacos, zucchini/eggplant lasanga, deep fried pickles, big ass salads.

6. What is the last thing you bought?: Probably a coffee.

7. Favorite book of all time?: I think it's still Brave New World - Aldous Huxley. It's so incredible. Also Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk.

8. Favorite Color?: Light pink :)

9. Do you have any pets?: Just human-puppies

10. Favorite Perfume?: I'm not a perfume person, I just take whatever someone recommends to me and go with it. That said, Fresh (in Sephora) makes one called Cannabis that smells so grassy and delicious, I smell it every time I go in and love it.

11. Favorite Holiday?: Thanksgiving probably takes the cake. So much good food. Such good weather. So many naps. 

12. Are you married?: Yes, almost 6 years now.

13. Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times?: I have been to... well, America (east and west coast), Mexico, Brazil. I think that's it.
Edit to add: AND CUBA. Thank you for reminding me Corinne!

14. Do you speak any other language?: In highschool I took French, German and Spanish. I'm not particularly great at any of them. I also tried to learn sign language and braille. I can code, like html code, haha.

15. How many siblings do you have?: I have two younger sisters, Angela and Sarah.

16. What is your favorite shop?: I pretty much only like grocery shopping. Well, Farmers Markets would be even better. I can handle IKEA, Costco, Target when it was around. If I need to buy clothes I will do a run and choose style shopping at Forever 21 or Winners.

17. Favorite restaurant?: I keep going back to: Beertown, Ben Thanh's... I don't know, I just ate lunch so I'm not in a think-about-food-mood which is very weird for me.

18. When was the last time you cried?: Probably when I was throwing up all of Sunday night. It wasn't like a pity cry, my eyes just literally did it.

19. Favorite Blog?: I'll give a shout out to my friends at Three Little Crowns. Their content has been consistently awesome and love the photos. My bestie Bethany blogs at A Land I Will Show You. I also read Feeding the Soil, Carrots n Cake, Shutterbean, Minimalist Baker, Joy the Baker...

20. Favorite Movie?: Probably going with my book answer: Fight Club

21. Favorite TV shows?: The Office, SNL, all food shows, Master of None, Mindy Project, New Girl, Arrested Development, Always Sunny

22. PC or Mac?: PC

23. What phone do you have?: Samsung S6 Gold

24. How tall are you?: 5’8

25. Can you cook?: Oh can I ever.